By Maria Duffy. First published on Sunday 8th May 2011. 9 Comments so far.

Fairies on the booze!

As most of you know, I write books and stuff, mainly aimed at adults. But do you know about my secret passion? Would it surprise you if I said it’s fairies?? Now by that, I mean the ‘fly around fairland in sparkly wings’ type fairies! I love writing poems for children about magical worlds with happy ever afters. However, it occurred to me to sneak a little of this fairy world into my adult writing. So just for all you big kids out there, here’s a… let’s just say… ‘more grown up’ fairy poem. Hope it makes you smile on this rainy Sunday!

Fairies on the booze!
A fed-up fairy Fifi went
to see the fairy ruler.
She asked Queen Esmeralda if
she’d make the kingdom cooler.

“Whatever do you mean, my child?”
enquired the Fairy Queen.
“This place is full of brilliant things
The coolest ever seen.”

“The magic swings between the trees
where elves sit softly swaying,
the fluffy clouds make trampolines
where everyone loves playing.”

“The brightly coloured rainbows make
amazing vibrant slides.
And spotted little toadstools are
the greatest place to hide.”

“And as for fairy fashion, we
all wear the very best;
with haute couture of sparkles you
should never be depressed.”

But Fifi wasn’t happy ‘cos
she hated all these things.
She longed for some designer stuff;
not stupid fairy wings.

Next morning when she woke and went
outside to take a walk,
she rubbed her disbelieving eyes
and had to stop and gawk.

For Fairyland was now transformed
and now was cool and funky.
The fairies looked like models and
the elves were fine and hunky.

Young Fifi was excited by
the changes that she saw.
She clapped her hands in sheer delight
and looked around in awe.

Instead of birds tweet tweeting, there
were booming disco beats.
Replacing fields of daisies were
some modern concrete streets.

She saw her friend, Miranda, who
liked dancing with bare toes.
She now was wearing killer heels
and chic designer clothes.

Her face was caked with makeup,
scarlet colour on her lips;
she didn’t dance, just swaggered
with a sashay of her hips.

She waved at Wizard Wally who
was always very cheerful.
To her dismay, he just looked lost;
his eyes looked sad and tearful.

Just then a leprechaun zoomed past
in brightest red Mercedes,
with open roof, and music loud
attracting lots of ladies.

A group of fairies passed her by
and Fifi was amazed.
With empty beer cans in their hands,
they all looked pretty dazed.

A drunken fairy? My oh my!
It really was alarming.
It seemed it was a better life
when everything was charming.

She really now regretted that
her selfish wish was granted,
and prayed she’d wake tomorrow back
in Fairyland enchanted.

When morning came, she ran outside
and danced around with glee,
as fairies flew and sprinkled dust;
oh what a sight to see!

The toadstools and the fluffy clouds,
the rainbow coloured slides.
She marvelled at the precious things
that Fairland provides.

But while she danced on tippy toes,
just guess what Fifi found;
a shoe with heels six inches high
was stuck into the ground.

She laughed out loud and realised
that if she had to choose,
she’d rather see those fluffy clouds,
than fairies on the booze!

Maria xx

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